Male Order Page 14

  Meg pulled into the parking lot, next to the same Porsche Laura had parked beside the night before. Hard On must belong to Michael. No wonder he was a male prostitute, he lacked class. A black and white standing over by the entrance drew her eye. She didn’t like to stare and draw attention to herself but the cop car appeared to be unoccupied. The thought of the police being involved left a sinking feeling in her stomach. Determined not to think the worst until it happened, she shrugged off the air of doom and gloom. There was always a chance they had left their car in the lot while they went to eat doughnuts. There was a Dunkin’ Donut stand across the street next to McDonalds. At least that was the story she was telling herself.

  After entering the hotel with a cursory nod to the doorman, she crossed the lobby toward a bank of elevators. When push came to shove, she was her mother’s daughter. The secret to fitting in was looking like you belonged. Head held high, she ignored the strange glances. So what if she was dressed in well worn purple trackie dacks and sunshine yellow running shoes? She might be a rich eccentric.

  Finally safe inside the elevator, she let out a long slow breath. So far so good, now she just needed to talk Aunt Maud down, rescue Michael, and make a run for it before anyone was the wiser. She didn’t think the hotel would appreciate a temporary brothel using their rooms.

  The elevator bounced to a stop on the third floor and the polished steel doors slid open. Happy no one was waiting for a ride, she stepped out onto the deep red, plush pile carpet, emblazoned with the hotel’s golden swirling logo. Not a sound. No screaming. No yelling. Was this the right hotel? He’d only said the third floor, he hadn’t said which room. She could only hope something would give her a clue about which door to knock on. The consequences of rapping on the wrong one could be catastrophic. Unless she came up with a great story, and she was a crap liar at the best of times, all hell would break loose. Slowly, she made her way down the spacious empty hallway. Turning the corner, she realized why she hadn’t heard anything. The elevators had been too far away. The begging male voice that drifted through the door to room 335 was definitely Irish, and on the verge of hysteria by the sounds of it.

  Tapping on the door, Meg called out, “Aunt Maud? It’s Meg. Let me in.”

  Footsteps approached, and the door swung open. Meg’s vision blurred at the spectacle in front of her. Aunt Maud in all her glory, five feet two of old, packaged in a fur trimmed red silk negligee and matching four inch heels. Her makeup was immaculate, if a little garish, and the way her cheeks caved in she had obviously removed her dentures. The blonde Marilyn Monroe wig added a little extra something to the illusion. She looked like some ancient escapee from the Playboy mansion.

  Over Maud’s shoulder she could see Michael, handcuffed to the bed head, lying naked, in a fetal position. Meg stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. “Michael, are you okay?”

  He lifted his head and glared at her. “Do I look fucking okay to you? Laura tricked me. She knew what she was getting me into, otherwise she would never have told me to wait in the room naked, handcuffed to the bed.”

  Meg couldn’t stifle a giggle. The great Michael Monaghan brought to his knees by a woman in her eighties, if only she had a camera. “You handcuffed yourself?”

  Aunt Maud put her hands on her hips and glared at both of them. “I don’t know why you came or what’s so funny. I paid Laura good money for sex and he can’t perform. His ding dong must be faulty.”

  Michael shook his head. “I never said can’t. I said won’t.”

  “How can you not want to perform? You do this for a job. I think you’re just having trouble getting it up.” She glanced at Meg. “Muriel says she blows Joe when he’s out of Viagra. I offered to blow him. I even took my teeth out so I could get better suction.”

  She took a step closer to the bed and Michael squealed in terror.

  The idea of Aunt Maud sucking Michael’s cock was too horrible to contemplate. Did she even know how to give head? Meg shoved the vision aside before she retched. Some things were better left unknown. A throb grew at the base of her skull; she needed a neurosurgeon, not a terrified newbie prostitute and a horny pensioner.

  Taking a deep breath to clear all negative thoughts, she formulated a plan. All she had to do was placate Aunt Maud by offering her an alternative, then find her clothes, make sure she was dressed, and send her back to St. Andrew’s Old Folk’s Home before anyone realized she’d gone missing. Then she could unlock Michael and send him on his way. Easy! She grabbed Maud by the arm and dragged her back from the bed in the hope it would stop Michael’s screaming.

  The sound of footsteps outside the door required a change of plans. Letting go of Maud, Meg leapt on the bed and slapped a hand over Michael’s mouth. In the ensuing struggle she ended up pinned beneath him. A knock rang out. She wiggled in an attempt to free herself and stop Maud crossing the room, but the handcuffs snagged in her hair, adding an extra degree of difficulty she was having trouble overcoming.

  A male voice boomed in the corridor outside the room. “This is the police. We’ve had complaints from other guests. Open up.”

  Meg hissed for Maud not to answer but, chin out, she grasped the handle and swung the door wide.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Meg squeezed her eyes shut in the hope when she opened them she’d be back on the couch at Laura’s. Surely being pinned under a naked Michael Monaghan in a high class hotel was a nightmare brought on by eating too many potato chips right after breakfast? When she finally looked up into the face of a grinning policeman she knew it was no dream. His portly middle-aged partner appeared equally amused.

  The younger officer rested a hand on the edge of the mattress and stared at them. “Does one of you want to tell me what all the screaming was about?”

  Unable to move, Meg shook her head. Michael had buried his face in the pillow next to her when the door opened. He let out a loud groan, which the cop apparently interpreted as a no. Meg was relieved. If they all kept their mouths shut, the police might assume it was some strange three-way sex thing and let them all go with a warning to keep the noise down. Her relief was short lived when Maud grabbed the young officer’s sleeve. Apparently Maud wasn’t nearly as shy as they were, and completely clueless about the potential consequences of telling the truth.

  “I’m glad you’re here, officers. You need to arrest them both for fraud.” She waved a blood red tipped, gnarled finger at the bed. “He refuses to provide the goods I paid for, and she sold me a dud.”

  The cop closest to the bed looked Michael up and down, obviously wondering where he’d stashed the goods. “What’s she selling?”

  “I paid good money for sex. I even went to the Purple Pomegranate on Mallard and bought exotic condoms and an extra large bottle of lube.” She whispered, “When you get to my age some things don’t work as well as they used to, but you’d think a young man with such a huge ding dong would be able to perform. I’ve seen firmer Twinkies and yet he calls himself a prostitute. If I wanted to play with a limp worm I would visit Mr. Kranston in room 405 for free. I often while away an hour or two trying to raise the dead, helps with my technique. Mrs. Kranston tells me he hasn’t had an erection since 1986.”

  Michael might have been having trouble getting it up for Maud, but he was doing fine now, if the hardness pressing into her thigh was anything to go by.

  The young cop fought hard to keep a stupid smirk off his face as he turned his attention back to Meg and Michael. “You want to get off the bed and let him put some clothes on? I don’t know what’s going on but if the story she’s telling me is right then I think we should continue this discussion at the station. All three of you have some questions to answer.”

  She should never have gone along with Laura’s hare brained business idea. Her life was completely unraveling. Unless they talked their way out of the situation, she would face the wrath of her mother and the real possibility of never getting a legitimate job again.

  If she
couldn’t join a convent, the circus might be an option. Why the hell not? Her life had become one, besides anything would be better than the humiliation of being a pimp. She was a complete failure, even as a purveyor of sex. She hadn’t managed to sell sex to anyone, so she could hardly seek solace amongst the town’s criminal element on Henley Street. They would laugh at her.

  The cop grabbed her arm and tried to pull her from under Michael.

  She squealed as a chunk of hair ripped out of her head. “I can’t get off the bed. My hair’s caught in the cuffs.”

  The officer tugged at her hair, undeterred by shrieks and complaints from Meg. Once untangled she wiggled free of Michael and the officer helped her onto her feet.

  “Sir?”

  “What?”

  Meg stared at the back of Michael’s head. So far he had managed to keep his identity hidden and now she was beginning to wonder why.

  “Sir, look at me.”

  Slowly, Michael turned his face and the cop grinned. “Michael Monaghan.”

  “Officer Clarke.”

  He chuckled. “I thought I recognized that bare backside.”

  Meg glanced from one to the other. “Am I missing something?”

  Michael sighed. “We’ve met before. Long story.”

  Maud tugged at the older officer’s sleeve. “So, Officer?”

  He glanced at her. “Mitchell, Ma’am.”

  “Officer Mitchell, are you arresting them?”

  “Before we charge anyone we need to make more enquiries, back at the station. First things first, they’ll both need to get dressed.”

  Michael tugged his hands, rattling the cuffs. “And how am I supposed to do that when I’m shackled to the bed?”

  Officer Clarke glanced from one of them to the other. “Who has the key to the cuffs?”

  Meg shook her head. Maud shrugged and shuffled her feet, giving her a decidedly shifty appearance. Clarke turned back to Michael. “Have you got them?”

  “If I did, do you think I’d still be attached to the bed? They’re in the pocket of my jeans.”

  “And where are your jeans?”

  Michael glared at Maud. “Ask her, she ran off with them.”

  Everyone turned and stared at Maud who shrugged. Officer Clarke sighed loudly. “Ma’am the sooner we get him uncuffed the sooner we can sort this out.”

  “I tossed them out the bathroom window, along with the rest of his belongings. I thought having no way to free himself might make him a little more cooperative. Besides, I don’t appreciate some of the things he said about me. Young people today have no respect for the elderly. We might be old but we still have our dignity.”

  Meg couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter. Officer Mitchell crossed to the window, but not before Meg saw his stomach jiggle as he held in his own amusement.

  It took the arrival of two more very amused cops, and a thorough search of the alley to determine Michael’s clothes were long gone. Just when Meg thought they would have to call the fire brigade to rescue Michael the appropriate size key was procured from the police station and the cuffs removed.

  Michael sat naked on the edge of the bed rubbing his wrists. It didn’t escape Meg’s attention the female cop, Delaney, seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of interest in Michael’s well-being. The huge flaccid dick resting on his muscle bound thigh had nothing to do with the officer’s attentions, she was sure.

  Officer Clarke laid a hand on Meg’s shoulder, drawing her attention back to him. Apparently he had asked her a question and she missed it.

  “Sorry?”

  “The old lady says you’re her niece. We found a raincoat belonging to her in the closet but she refuses to wear it to the station. The hotel would appreciate it if we keep this as low key as possible, besides, I don’t think she would really want the world to see her dressed that way. Could you have a word?”

  Meg snorted. He didn’t know Maud very well, appearing in public dressed as a a vamp would make her day, besides she was wearing a damn sight more than some, and yet they wanted her to cover up. She glanced at Michael. “What about him?”

  “We’re getting a robe sent up.” He fought but lost the battle to keep a smile from curling up the corners of his mouth. “Apparently your Aunt tossed them out the window as well.”

  Meg glanced at Maud who was in a deep and animated discussion with Officer Mitchell. Looking back at Clarke, she let out a loud sigh. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  She crossed the room and addressed the cop. “Can I speak to, Maud? Your colleague thinks I might have more luck.”

  He shrugged and backed off a little.

  Meg turned her attention back to her aunt. Despite the prospect of being carted off to jail she had lost none of her determination and righteous indignation about her afternoon’s activities being cut short.

  She glared at Meg. “Why am I being taken to the cop shop? I’m the innocent victim in all this. I should be getting a full refund or replacement goods. Ones that work!” She bellowed in Michael’s direction, which earned her a fierce glare from the now robed Irishman.

  Meg sighed. Of all the relatives she got lumbered with the craziest. “Maud, just put the damn coat on so we can get this over with. You’ll get your money back, I promise. If you hadn’t opened your mouth when the police arrived none of us would be going to the station, but you did, so now we’re all in it up to our necks. Hiring prostitutes is an offence the same as renting them out.”

  Maud stared at her. “Really? Good Lord. So I’ll get a criminal record then?” A wide grin spread across her wrinkled face.

  Meg put her face in her hands, only Maud could be happy about being a criminal.

  Alone in a cell, Meg hugged her knees to her chest and hid her face from view. Things could be worse she supposed. At least Maud had finally given in and worn the raincoat to cover the negligee. She’d also managed to persuade her to put her teeth back in and remove the blond Marilyn Monroe wig. There had been quite a crowd watching the police escort them from the building.

  Despite urging Maud to play dumb and say nothing, she had a horrible feeling she would do no such thing. She was relishing seeing her face on TV as a hardened criminal. Why couldn’t Michael just let her blow him? Meg shuddered. He might be an annoying shit but she wouldn’t wish that on him. Wait until she caught up with Laura, it should be her sitting on the steel bed staring at bare walls. No one in their right mind would have taken a booking from Aunt Maud and assumed it would end well.

  Maybe when it was her turn she could say Aunt Maud was mentally unstable and the whole thing was a mix up. Although that didn’t explain why she was lying underneath a handcuffed naked man while an elderly vamp watched.

  The door to the cell swung open and Officer Clarke peered in at her.

  “Okay, time for you to tell your side.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Meg had tried to explain but she was no liar, now she had to face the consequences of her stupidity. She fought and lost the battle not to cry. Officer Clarke put a hand on her shoulder. “A first offence of pandering is a misdemeanor, not a life sentence.”

  Meg sniffed and blew her nose on her tatty tissue. Officer Clarke’s female sidekick, Delaney, passed her the box and she took a fresh one.

  “Will I be staying in jail?”

  Clarke shook his head. “Not if you can raise bail. The charges might have been much worse. The Sergeant had the option to make more of the whole escapade but you and the old lady are first time offenders and he felt sorry for Monaghan.”

  Meg had twenty bucks in her purse and some loose change, her bank account wasn’t exactly flush either. “How much is bail?”

  Delaney picked up the charge sheet. “A hundred bucks for you.”

  “What about for Aunt Maud?”

  “Same for her and for Mr. Twinkie.”

  Despite her situation, Meg couldn’t help but smile at the nickname the cops had given Michael.

  Officer Delaney tossed the shee
t back on the table. “So, can you make bail?”

  Meg shook her head. “No. Not unless you take plastic.”

  “Cash only. Do you have someone you can call who can put up the money?”

  “Like a bail bondsman?”

  Clarke chuckled. “They won’t be interested in a small potato like you. She means a relative or friend. Your Aunt Maud refused to cooperate once we charged her with soliciting and told her she would be freed once bail was paid. She says she’s going on a hunger strike until she gets the punishment she deserves. Someone needs to get the old lady out of here before we get her sectioned and sent to a psychiatric ward. She is as mad as a coot and won’t behave for five minutes. Officer Cranston wants to charge her with multiple offences.”

  “What offences?”

  “Assaulting a police officer. She’s grabbed three butts already but Cranston seems to be a favorite. Can’t they put something in her tea to cool her jets?”

  With a sigh, Meg did a mental check of who she could call. Top of the list was Laura. She made the mess, only fair she fix things. If she wasn’t answering, she was short on options. Her mother would have a fit. In fact, she hoped the whole thing would pass her mother by and she would never find out. Her dad wouldn’t make it out of the house without a cross examination and he couldn’t lie with any sense of conviction. Sam was her only remaining option. The one man she really didn’t want to talk to. Fingers crossed, Laura would save all three of them before it came to that.

  *

  Classes for the day over, Sam was showered, dressed, and contemplating how exactly to tackle the situation with Meg. He needed to sort out in his own mind how he felt about her and their relationship before he could win back her trust. Knowing he would get nowhere stuck at the gym, he left the men’s change room only to bump into Claudia.